I don’t know if I’m going to publish this post or not…but I suppose if you’re reading this now, I decided to share.
Please know that this is about me personally. In other words, I’m not asking for your judgment, or your pity for that matter, I’m just reflecting on how I feel lately. Maybe there’s someone out there who can relate…
What is that? How do I find it??
I’ve recently come to the realization that I’m constantly asking myself this question:
It it enough?
- Did I run hard enough?
- Did I eat enough vegetables today?
- Do I look pretty enough?
- Am I skinny enough?
- Am I saving enough money?
- Were those weights heavy enough?
- Was that meal enough calories? Too much??
- Did I prepare for this class enough?
- Did I smile enough today?
- Am I hugging and kissing my husband enough?
- Did I drink enough water?
- Am I good enough?
Where do these (and so many similar) questions even come from…
I also wonder if anyone else asks themselves any of these same questions….
The last few weeks have been especially tough for me. This past June we had our wedding, which in many different aspects, was a “goal” and, of course, a milestone. Once the wedding was over, I just kind of remember thinking “well now what?” … I signed up for my 2nd half marathon to make another goal for myself to work towards. But now that that’s over too, I’m again finding myself asking “now what?!” … I didn’t plan on admitting it to anyone, I still don’t know if I’m going to share this post…But after realizing that I’m constantly, and I mean constantly asking myself those questions,
I’ve HAD enough.
I don’t want to be judging myself like this all the time!
It’s not good for me. It’s not healthy for me. It’s not the way God wants me to be.
It doesn’t make me happy. It doesn’t make me healthier. And it most definitely isn’t living in God’s image.
This picture I recently saw helped make that connection for me:
I AM enough.
I’m running fast enough.
I’m eating enough veggies.
I’m pretty enough.
I’m lifting enough.
I’m working hard enough.
And HE says I’m even more than that. HE‘s looking at what’s truly important.
“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7