my struggle: is it enough?

by Danica on November 13, 2012

I don’t know if I’m going to publish this post or not…but I suppose if you’re reading this now, I decided to share.

Please know that this is about me personally.  In other words, I’m not asking for your judgment, or your pity for that matter, I’m just reflecting on how I feel lately.  Maybe there’s someone out there who can relate…

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Balance.

What is that?  How do I find it??

I’ve recently come to the realization that I’m constantly asking myself this question:
It it enough?

  • Did I run hard enough?
  • Did I eat enough vegetables today?
  • Do I look pretty enough?
  • Am I skinny enough?
  • Am I saving enough money?
  • Were those weights heavy enough?
  • Was that meal enough calories?  Too much??
  • Did I prepare for this class enough?
  • Did I smile enough today?
  • Am I hugging and kissing my husband enough?
  • Did I drink enough water?
  • Am I gooenough?

Where do these (and so many similar) questions even come from…

I also wonder if anyone else asks themselves any of these same questions….

The last few weeks have been especially tough for me.  This past June we had our wedding, which in many different aspects, was a “goal” and, of course, a milestone.  Once the wedding was over, I just kind of remember thinking “well now what?” … I signed up for my 2nd half marathon to make another goal for myself to work towards.  But now that that’s over too, I’m again finding myself asking “now what?!”  … I didn’t plan on admitting it to anyone, I still don’t know if I’m going to share this post…But after realizing that I’m constantly, and I mean constantly asking myself those questions,

I’ve HAD enough.

I don’t want to be judging myself like this all the time!

It’s not good for me.  It’s not healthy for me.  It’s not the way God wants me to be.

It doesn’t make me happy.  It doesn’t make me healthier.  And it most definitely isn’t living in God’s image.

This picture I recently saw helped make that connection for me:

I AM enough.

I’m running fast enough.

I’m eating enough veggies.

I’m pretty enough.

I’m lifting enough.

I’m working hard enough.

I’m enough.

And HE says I’m even more than that.  HE‘s looking at what’s truly important.

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7

{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

1 healthy ashley November 13, 2012 at 7:00 am

Amazing post! Thanks for the reminder that we are all enough!

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2 Danica November 14, 2012 at 9:31 pm

thanks Ashley :)

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3 Adrienne @ Happy Ramblings November 13, 2012 at 10:43 am

Thanks for posting this! You are not the only one who asks these questions, I ask them all the time, I asked them this morning. I’m constantly thinking about what “goal” is next, what I have to work towards, instead of enjoying what is going on now, and celebrating the goals that I have achieved. It’s a constant battle for me, but I work at it everyday.

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4 Danica November 15, 2012 at 5:08 pm

same here girl–it’s something I’m working hard at everyday, and there are plenty of days that it really does require me to work hard!

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5 Brittany @ Read, Run, Repeat November 13, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I love this post. I ask myself those questions way too often too – and it often ends me in a cycle of negativity. I am working hard to tell myself “I am enough”

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6 Danica November 15, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Good for you Brittany…It’s definitely hard, but so worth it.

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7 Brittany (Healthy Slice of Life) November 13, 2012 at 12:40 pm

So glad you reached a perfect conclusion on your own- you are enough! I have those days when I struggle with balance. In those moments I try to remind myself that I can have it all, but I can’t have it all at the exact same time and that’s ok. Some days I’m a rock star mom, but don’t get much work done. Other days I kick butt at being productive, but don’t read as many books with Hailey as I should. It’s impossible to do it all perfectly, so it’s funny that we as woman so often aim for that unrealistic goal.
You’re awesome and even though you already answered it, yes, you’re doing enough. You are enough :)

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8 Danica November 15, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Thanks Brittany :) And I love what you said–I can have it all just not necessarily all at once, and that’s okay.

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9 Lydia @HappyHealthyConfident.com November 13, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Hey There!

This is my first time stopping by, and I just want to say that you have a beautiful blog! You are very talented, and so pretty! Sometimes it just takes someone else to remind you, that you are plenty good enough! The fact that you worry about being good enough, only tells me that you are doing your very best which is ALWAYS good enough if not more ;)

Thanks for being brave and posting this!!

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10 Danica November 15, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Thanks so much Lydia, I really appreciate it!

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11 Brandi November 13, 2012 at 8:41 pm

This is such a great post! Thank you so much for sharing this with us, because I know so many women that do. I think we forget that we have so much worth and that we are enough. :)
Thank you!

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12 Danica November 15, 2012 at 5:15 pm

You’re exactly right. Unfortunately, we (women) have so many expectations we’re trying to meet all the time, I think it’s just so easy to forget about who we really are and what truly matters. Sometimes it requires a post like this for me to just let it all out and put things into perspective.

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13 kl November 13, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Unfortunately, these doubts creep in at any and every age in life…thus we keep searching for His reassurance that He loves us ‘while we were still sinners’. We can never truly be enough, but He is. We trust in the fact that He loves us and keeps guiding us.

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14 Danica November 15, 2012 at 5:16 pm

definitely, and reminding ourselves too that in His eyes we’re exactly how he wants us to be. love you, ma

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15 Jessie November 14, 2012 at 2:31 am

Danica, what a beautiful post. You are such an inspiring woman. Continue being you, and soon enough you’ll find out exactly what you want in all situations :) It’s okay from time to time to wonder “what’s next”.. that’s just part of growing up girl.

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16 Danica November 15, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Thanks Jessie :) your comments always make me smile!

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17 Girl Child November 14, 2012 at 6:57 am

This is probably my #1 struggle in life.. esp with my children! No one tells you what the correct punishment (if any) is.. so they do something innapropriate (good kids, but say they yell at their brother) and I give a time out or take something away, then I think of how well behaved they really are in the scheme of life, so then I doubt if I should have punished for it all at… let alone all the other things in life I doubt myself with… my father used to be my answer man.. and then he passed away and now.. I feel so lost so often..

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18 Danica November 15, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I’m so sorry about your father…I think the key is to just make sure your kids know you love them at all times and do the best parenting you can — I’m willing to bet that you’re an amazing mother!

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19 Anna @AnnaTheApple November 14, 2012 at 7:15 am

I think we all ask ourselves these questions a lot – I know I do! It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others and judge ourselves harshly. I constantly feel like “what’s next” in my life. But I think you just have to keep setting new goals and new things to strive towards, but not living for tomorrow. Living for today while looking forward to the future, if that makes sense! :)

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20 Danica November 15, 2012 at 5:19 pm

That absolutely makes sense! I’m continually reminding myself to “Be Present.”

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21 Bethany @ Accidental Intentions November 14, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I relate to so much of this post. In a high school creative writing class we had to list three of our greatest fears, and though I put down things like thunderstorms and icy roads, I really realized that my my greatest fear was not being “enough.” This is an awesome, awesome post, and I’m really glad you decided to hit publish :)

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22 Danica November 15, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Thanks so much Bethany. I’m glad I posted it too, especially because it opened my eyes to the fact that a lot of people (women in particular) can relate to this struggle to feel like everything is ‘enough.’ In a sense that’s really inspiring to me because it means that we can all come together to help build each other up!

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23 Megan @ Fiterature November 14, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Thank you, thank you, thank you for publishing this. I can relate and ask myself every. single. one. of those questions a million times a day. Sometimes I am SO jealous of my husband because he DOESN’T think this way. His head hits the pillow at night and he is out – my brain swims for hours with all of the “enoughs” from the day.

It, sadly, is easy to forget that God thinks we are MORE than enough. He thinks we are PERFECT in His image. Why I don’t listen is beyond me – but this post was a great reminder. Thanks for sharing.

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24 Danica November 15, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Megan, thanks so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it….
My husband is the same way, and that’s something I’ve always loved/admired about him–he’s so confident and comfortable with who he is!
You’re right though–God thinks we’re more than enough and absolutely perfect in His image. Thanks for that reminder :)

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25 Lauren @ The Homeostatic Mindset November 22, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Just coming across your blog. Love this post :)

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26 Danica November 23, 2012 at 7:51 am

Thanks Lauren! :)

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27 Emily @ runningmyliferace December 2, 2012 at 9:20 am

I’m super late to the post but I totally understand where you are coming from! I got pretty caught up in wedding details and didn’t really know what to do with myself afterwards. But, you are on the right track, God is the answer! He sees us as perfect because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. Don’t forget that we are not going to be enough without relying on His strength everyday, for everything! Psalm 55:22 “cast your cares on The Lord, he will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall.”

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28 Danica December 2, 2012 at 5:47 pm

That’s exactly what happened with me too, and I didn’t even think I was that wrapped up in the wedding plans! It really struck me after though, and finishing my Fall half marathon this year kind of had the same affect on me…
Love that Psalm, thanks so much for sharing!

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29 Shannon Lagasse December 3, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Hi Danica!

Love your post. It certainly echoes the words of many women I’ve interacted with.

How do we know what balance is? Typically, we figure it out by comparing ourselves to other people. The thing is: I am not other people, you are not other people – I am me and you are you.

I’ve found that the best thing you can do is have a purpose. Create a mission statement for your life. What do you want to do with your one wild and precious life? as Mary Oliver said. This mission will help keep you focused when moments come up and you’re like, “What the h*** am I doing this for?”

Good luck!

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30 Melinda December 10, 2012 at 10:01 am

Dr. Brene Brown Tedtalks June 2010
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
WOMEN, WATCH THIS!!!

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31 Danica December 13, 2012 at 9:18 am

I’ll definitely listen to this soon and let you know what I think. Thanks!!

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32 Elizabeth January 1, 2013 at 8:30 pm

Love this post! I can definitely relate. And you are so right. You are enough! You are MORE than enough!

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